Mediate Michigan

by Jane Tate, Mediate Michigan LLC 

The dawn of the New Year brings resolutions of all sorts.  For many they resolve to get a divorce and move on with their lives.  January generally sees a huge spike in divorce filings across the country.

Many couples believe that to divorce they must each retain an attorney.  While it is advisable to seek the advice and counsel of an attorney during a divorce so that you understand the legal implications of your decisions, many find it surprising that retaining an attorney is not a requirement. 

In an economic downturn such as this many couples are choosing to stay together because they believe they cannot afford to divorce.  Divorce attorneys often require substantial retainers to take your case, sometimes $10,000.00 or more depending on your circumstances and a fully litigated divorce can easily cost each party $50,000.00 or more.

Litigation is basically a legal term for disputing or fighting.  Unfortunately some attorneys will encourage their client to fight even in circumstances where it really isn’t necessary or beneficial.  If you decide to litigate your divorce be very careful about the attorney you choose.  Make sure they understand what you are looking for and provide you the information you need to make informed decisions.  Most of all, make sure that they follow your decisions.  Your attorney’s job is to advocate for you, however once they have provided you with all the necessary legal information and their opinion the final decision on how to proceed is up to you, not your attorney. 

It is also important to understand that if you choose to litigate your divorce you may be leaving important decisions, such as custody and visitation, in the hands of a Judge and court system.  Despite their good intentions they simply don’t have the time or resources to get to know you and your family.  This often results in one or both parties being unhappy with the court’s decision and keeps families in court for years wasting valuable resources.   

There are alternatives to litigating your divorce.  Mediation is a process where both parties meet with a neutral party or “mediator” in an attempt to resolve their disagreements and disputes.  Mediation can cost less than 1/3 the amount of a litigated divorce.  While litigation often focuses on the past, mediation focuses on the future.  By focusing on the future the mediation process is often successful in resloving even the most difficult issues.  It is important to note that mediation is not appropriate in all circumstances.  If you have been a victim of domestic violence mediation is not for you.

Another alternative is collaborative law.  Each party hires their own collaborative law attorney.  The collaborative law attorneys work with the parties and other professionals such as financial and child custody experts to resolve their case out of court.  The parties agree that if they cannot resolve their issues and decide to pursue litigation they must hire new attorneys to take their case to court.  The cost of the collaborative law process is more than that of mediation however even with attorneys, experts and coaches it is still less than litigation.

Alternatively the parties may choose to simply represent themselves.  This alternative can have many pitfalls and is not advisable in complex cases.  If you choose to represent yourself it is advisable to get the advice of an attorney during the process.  Many people don’t realize that attorneys will review or draft documents for them without requiring them to retain them.  Many attorneys will perform these services for a flat fee.  Be aware however that just because an attorney reviews or drafts a document for you that does not mean they represent you and should you have to go to court you will be on your own.

Should divorce be among your New Year’s resolutions investigate all your options before choosing a path to pursue.