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Your divorce may have been a drawn-out, dramatic mess but if you want your kids to come out unscathed, your co-parenting relationship with your ex needs to be anything but.

So how do you make nice with your ex when it’s the last thing you want to do? Below, HuffPost Divorce readers share the one word of advice they’d give fellow divorcees struggling to forge a working parenting relationship with their ex.

1. “Co-parent. Learn to look at your ex as a business partner. And if you feel the need to vent about him or her, vent to your friends and not to your kids. The kids’ feelings always have to come first.”

via 11 Things All Divorced Parents Need To Hear.