Mediate Michigan

We all do it from time to time — make a sarcastic comment about our ex, criticize something they did or didn’t do, gesture or grimace our faces when referring to our former spouse. When we do it in front of, near or within hearing distance of our children, we set ourselves up for a hornet’s nest of problems.

Sure, we all know this, but it’s easy to forget or let slide. It hurts our children when they hear one of their parents put down the other. This is true even if your child does not say anything about it. With rare exceptions, children innately feel that they are part of both parents. They love them both, even when that love isn’t returned to them in the same way.

When you put down their other parent, your children are likely to interpret it as a put-down of part of them. When both parents are guilty of this behavior, it can create a great confusion along with a sense of unworthiness and low self-esteem. “Something’s wrong with me” becomes the child’s unconscious belief.

via Rosalind Sedacca: Post-Divorce Parenting: Bashing Your Ex is Bad for Your Children.