Mediate Michigan

Drama. Deceit. Devastation. It’s not just reality TV, it’s the reality that most of us experience when we end a relationship, because we don’t and won’t leave our mate until we reach the point of hating, hurting and hardly speaking. Like a pit bull gripping its most beloved doggie toy, we believe that if we feel any love at all for this person, we must stay, fight and make the relationship work. And only when we think that love is gone, do we concede and dive head first into the despair of an ugly, hurtful, messy divorce.

We will walk on coals to keep our relationship alive, whatever it takes, no matter if we are happy or this person is the best partner for our lives. If you love each other you must stay and make it work or keep trying until things get so bad that you can justify the ending — no matter how lonely, exhausted or unhappy — right? Wrong!

This crazy line of thinking has kept people stuck in wrong relationships and suffering through bad marriages for way too long. Even when we know this person will never be the partner we desire, or that we are no longer the best fit, we hang around because we “love them.” But love should never require sacrificing yourself or forfeiting your joy or life dreams.

via Christine Arylo: When Love Isn’t Enough: 3 Rules for a Drama Free Divorce.