Mediate Michigan

In my last blog I wrote about new research which suggests that divorce does not inevitably damage children. This is important, for it means that divorcing parents have reason to believe that they can help to ensure that their children survive that crisis without suffering long-term emotional, social, or academic problems. Children of divorce are somewhat more at risk for such problems, but they are by no means destined to them.

A few readers took exception to my statement that some children can emerge from divorce stronger and more resilient. One reader compared it to having kids experience a car accident so as to make them more careful drivers. This actually brings up an important point, and one that parents who find themselves whether by choice or not having to divorce need to know.

Stress, Trauma, and Psychological Resilience

Psychologists have long known that stress and trauma do not affect everyone equally. One obvious example is the stress and trauma that soldiers are subjected to when they are deployed to a war zone. Whereas approximately 7% of adult Americans have symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD, that rate doubles, to 14%, among those who have served in Iraq or Afghanistan. Still, that leaves 86% who do not suffer from PTSD. The question, then, is why this is so? A related question, and one that is most relevant to divorce and its effect on children, is whether exposure to stress and trauma is inevitably damaging, or whether there are certain psychological factors within a person that can help him or her weather crises and traumas better.

via Joseph Nowinski, Ph.D.: Helping Children Survive Divorce: The Importance of Psychological Resilience.