Mediate Michigan

I suppose it’s an occupational hazard. It happens regularly. First, there’s a moment of awkwardness. They recognize, but can’t place me. Then it hits them: I am the judge on Divorce Court, and that’s when it begins. People start telling me about their own divorce.

Of course, all of their stories star the very same trinity of evil: their jerk ex, his or her vulture attorney, and that idiot judge. I swallow hard on that last one but don’t take it personally. Though each story has a life of its own, there is usually a common theme, and it is not, as one might imagine, their anger over who got what when it was over. Instead they tell me about the overwhelming sense of lack of control they felt during the process.

I can’t say I blame them. At one of the most vulnerable moments in their lives, they get dumped into a legal process they know very little about. And then, in this foreign place, they are asked to disassemble their lives. They must reduce the most important aspects of their existence to a few pieces of paper that will define not only their marital status, but much of what they have, where it is they will live and how often they can see their own kids.

It often leaves the parties feeling, at best, unheard and sometimes downright abused.

Few things are more difficult than untangling lives that have been intertwined on every level for years in a manner that feels equitable to all involved. Laws can never adequately address all of the nuances of everyday life and the entire range of human behavior.

via Huffington Post: How to Deal with Feelings of Lack of Control while Navigating Divorce Court