Mediate Michigan

Three years ago, my wife and I fled what we had hoped would be the idealistic suburban life. The idyll, however, was far from what we had hoped for. How did we fall into the trap?

Four months after getting married, we fell in love with a town outside of New York City. My wife wanted to fix up an old house, and real estate was cheap. The commute into the city was 20 minutes, and we romanticized the train ride. Mostly, however, we convinced ourselves that this little town was just the perfect amount of urban, gentrified and European, all after sitting in a square by a fountain downtown on a particularly sunny day.

In actuality, it was a rusty river town at the end of the train line at the edge of a forest. The drafty Victorian we purchased came with lead paint, dead rats in the ceiling and a bat infestation. And, because my Swedish wife had not had the time to find a job in the U.S., and did not have a driver’s license, she fell somewhat reluctantly into the role of stay-at-home mom.

More than our real estate issues, it was the traditional husband-wife dynamic that almost destroyed us. My wife felt isolated and out of control (a feeling only heightened by her immigrant status), and I felt shoved into a box of my own, one filled with work deadlines, limited time with my daughter and the pressure of making the only paycheck. How to Deal with No Longer Being the Breadwinner

We fled. To Sweden.

via Why One Dad Embraced A Reversal Of Gender Roles.