Divorcing your house along with the spouse | home | Surprise mom and dad, your parenting differences can actually be your strength

March 12, 2010

Elegant Solutions: Lessons from the Farmer-Lender Mediations of the 1980s

It is really quite revolutionary, the idea that just by talking to each other, conflict can be resolved.

While it is true that the adversarial system of conflict resolution is designed to do several things quite well, there are many things that it cannot do well. An adjudicatory system can determine right from wrong, guilt from innocence, negligence from no negligence, and custodial from noncustodial parent in the case of custody battles, but where there are complex relationships that continue into the future, and where some major intervening event affects the relationship, sometimes just talking and negotiating works better to resolve the conflict than an adjudicatory system that applies uniform rules to all similar conflicts.

In the case of mortgage foreclosure, laws that allow the lender to collect the debt by foreclosing on the security pledged are a workable and predictable system of conflict resolution. However, when unforeseen and cataclysmic events occur that cannot be controlled or predicted by either side to the original contract, application of the usual legal remedies may prove unworkable. Lessons learned from family and divorce mediation have helped us see that while it is generally the case that marital termination agreements and parenting plans can be seen as contractual road maps that guide the post-divorce behavior and relationship of the parents, there are unforeseen circumstances that require parents to adjust the relationship and seek mediation to change parts of the contract. Likewise, in the case of the lender/homeowner relationship that may extend over a 30-year period, there may be occasions where it is necessary to change the terms of that contractual relationship. This was true in the case of farmers and bankers in 1985 and it is true of homeowners and their lenders today.

via Elegant Solutions: Lessons from the Farmer-Lender Mediations of the 1980s.

posted to Divorce,Mediation @ 10:16 am

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Divorcing your house along with the spouse | home | Surprise mom and dad, your parenting differences can actually be your strength