Mediate Michigan

When I was younger, divorce was something you whispered about, like cancer. It came with a certain stigma and a mysterious other-worldliness. My aunt and uncle got divorced when their kids were in college and some of that stigma dissolved as we all learned to live with it. When my ex-husband announced we were splitting up, I was devastated for a few days. I’ve learned to live with that too. I’ve cast away the stigma and feel like I’m a poster child for the flourishing of a divorced woman. I’m happily remarried, as is my ex, and we both maintain what we consider a healthy, happy, split home life for our two daughters. Here are just some of the things I’ve learned in my nine years of splitsville.

1. The Divorce Disincentive

Once you are divorced, your ex-spouse will have no incentive whatsoever to please you. If you were still trying to be married, one or the other would cave with the hope of a little make up sex, or reconciliatory dinner. Depending on how fractured you were when you parted, the cooperation factor will be proportionately fractured or whole.

via Judy Silk: Steps And Exes: 10 Simple Things I’ve Learned From Living In The Trenches.