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Parents going through a divorce have many emotional, financial and legal matters to attend to. Depending on the situation, the decision to divorce can come as a great relief or as the beginning of a time of great stress. Regardless of parents’ attitudes toward the divorce, children are likely to experience a range of conflicting and confusing emotions.

How can parents act as guides for their children through this very uneven emotional terrain?

Says one dad, “I still get sick to my stomach thinking about the day that we told our son about our divorce. As much as having him was the greatest day of my life, I felt that this day was the worst. We used a book called Mama and Daddy Bear’s Divorce and read it to him. As helpful as this was it still was very upsetting for all of us.”

For parents navigating this rough terrain, Lisane Basquiat of Transition Haven, a wellness organization in Maplewood, encourages putting yourself into the mindset of the child, “Envision that something big is going on around you and you have no control over the outcome or what it will mean for your future. You see the writing on the wall and know that something is awry but you’re not completely clear on what the outcome will be or what it will mean for your future. You have questions, feel uncertain, and are solely reliant upon the people that you trust immensely to provide you with answers … This is what divorce feels like to your child.”

via Helping Children Through Divorce | Barista Kids.