Mediate Michigan

Telling the kids you’re getting a divorce is a conversation no parent wants to have. But once you do sit them down with your soon-to-be ex, how much should you you tell them? Should you explain to them why the marriage didn’t work?

That’s the question asked by the BBC News in a recent feature highlighting one divorcing couple’s decision to spare their child the details of their split.

“I don’t think 14-year-old children need to know the ins and outs,” the mother said.

via Divorce And Children: Should You Tell Your Kids Why You’re Getting A Divorce?.

Recently, the Internet was atwitter with the story of a divorced wife who sent $47.12 in pennies to her ex-husband after a judge ordered her to make the payment.

That’s the kind of venom that can sometimes drip in divorce cases, especially the one half of one percent that wind up in court.

Carl Cangelosi, a divorce mediator, believes that most splits don’t need to come to that.

Mediation as a Cost-Effective Alternative

“Parties have disputes all the times. Parties are angry all the time, but that’s what the mediator helps them do, is to helps them get through that and work through the issues,” says Cangelosi, the past president of the New Jersey Association of Professional Mediators.

via How Mediation in Divorce Works [Video] | Legal News | Lawyers.com.

Silver couples are divorcing now more than ever.

The divorce rate among 49- to 67-year-olds has grown more than 50 percent according to the latest statistics. And, unfortunately, many of these newly-single baby boomers lose much of their retirement in wake of divorce.

According to a recent article at Forbes, silver couples are warned that if the right steps aren’t taken to secure financial futures in the wake of a divorce, you may be stuck with reduced income or even a part-time job in your sunset years.

The latest study at ING found that divorced people are less financially prepared when it comes to retirement versus married couples. On average, divorcees saved $11,000 less for retirement than their married counterparts.

Retirement is an ongoing fear most couples have in divorce proceedings. Women fear being able to afford retirement in general while men fear it will be delayed.

via La Jolla Divorce Mediator on Retirement, Mediation When Divorcing | La Jolla Light.

Once upon a time, childhood was filled with endless days spent outside and very little TV. Imaginations ran wild and kids made their own fun with nothing but a few Matchbox cars and an old cardboard box. They played, they learned, and they socialized. But most of all, they had fun.

Life is far too scripted today. Plans are made. Classes are attended. Craft projects are intended to mimic those found on Pinterest. Gone are the days of free play and creating something out of nothing. Many kids today are simply following a script.

via 7 Secrets of Highly Happy Children | Katie Hurley.

Going through a divorce is an overwhelming experience. If you are going through divorce or have gone through it, I am sure you will agree that the initial sensation is of being flooded by emotions, things to handle and tough, very tough decisions to make. Here are five very big mistakes, often made by anyone going through separation or divorce, and some tips that can spare you some bad decisions and keep you on the right track:

Making Decisions Without Fully Understanding the Implications: Read as much as you can, go to free or paid consultations with various professionals mediators, attorneys, divorce coaches and more. The more information you have regarding your rights and options, the better decisions you will be able to make.

Losing Control of Your Divorce:
Do not let your attorney act on your behalf without fully informing you. I have heard too many times from clients that their lawyers were making decisions for them without consulting them or, even worse, against what they have requested.

Acting Out of Anger:
Court battles will not teach your soon-to-be ex a lesson. Trust me. And if you go that route, it will teach both of you a lesson: nobody goes dancing out of court.

Settling for Less Than You Need or Deserve:
While settling is settling, you do not want to underestimate your expenses and what you need in order to be comfortable within your means. If you are the payer, you do not want to commit to more than you can afford. Be fair to yourself and to your soon-to-be ex.

via The 5 Worst Mistakes People Make During Divorce | Michelle Rozen.