June 14, 2012
Divorcing For The Sake Of The Children
I’ve found that most people, despite being in an unloving and unhappy marriage, will avoid considering divorce as an option because they believe it will be harmful to their children. I believe the opposite is true — that they are actually doing more damage to their children by staying together.
It’s a well known fact that children need love, nurturing, safety, security and structure in their lives. While initially divorce can disrupt a child’s foundation of security and structure, the long term effects of divorce aren’t necessarily bad. If handled properly, divorce can actually have a positive effect on a child’s emotional growth.
Let’s break this down. Children need love. They need love given directly to them from their parents but they also need to be brought up in a family environment filled with love. Even if two parents love the children directly but are unloving towards each other, it ends up being detrimental to the children. Why? Because children are extremely sensitive — more than most people may know — and will pick up on the dynamics of their parents relationship and internalize it.