Mediate Michigan

At a recent conference, therapists and attorneys expressed their concern about what is happening between parents going through divorce. There appears to be an increase in violence, viciousness, putting children in the middle and sadly, not letting go of the anger toward a former partner. Why is this happening and what can we do about it?

From my perspective, grief is not dealt with adequately; loss, pain, hurt become entangled with a ball of anger that becomes a cement wall between parents. Parents can keep conflict between them fueled and hire professionals who are instructed to keep the fight going. While professionals, including judges, attorneys, mediators and mental health professionals want to help parents disengage from their relationship in a civil manner, we can’t make them. A judge can order that parents not bad mouth each other in front of the children, but that judge can’t go home with the parents to monitor their behavior. There is no one to monitor parent follow-through. Children’s needs often go unaddressed; they are still treated like property. Their unique needs and challenges become additional weapons parents use against each other.

via Risa Garon: 7 Tips to Promote a Sane and Child Focused Divorce.