Mediate Michigan

In an earlier blog I addressed a common myth about boys: that they are innately “tougher” than girls, both physically and emotionally. This myth can be dangerous because it can lead divorcing parents to believe that their sons will be able to deal with the divorce more easily–to “tough it out” as it were. As many commenters to that blog attested, nothing could be further from the truth.

Now let’s turn to a second mistaken belief, which is that adolescents, by virtue of their age, are better equipped to navigate the stresses of their parents’ divorce. This belief appears to be so common that some parents have told me that they purposefully waited until their children hit adolescence to initiate a divorce, thinking that teens can handle it better than younger children.

Here is the truth: Divorce represents a major crisis for children of any age — including fully grown, adult children. Can children, including teens, survive divorce and emerge without permanent scars? Yes, they can — but not if parents allow themselves to entertain mythical beliefs.

via Joseph Nowinski, Ph.D.: Helping Children Survive Divorce: The Myth of the Mature Teen.