Mediate Michigan

I spent a few hours on a recent Sunday listening to a friend, a highly accomplished San Francisco Police Officer and single father, struggle with some challenges related to the ongoing conflict between him and his ex-wife–conflict intensified by the fact their two teen-age children are smack in the middle of the adult difficulties. This highly skilled law enforcement professional, who fearlessly confronts street criminals with weapons, is completely stymied by his family challenges. This episode, plus the state parents are in when they call Kids’ Turn to register for our services, caused me to reflect on how separating parents today are demonstrating volatility and anger at each other with an intensity unheard of twenty or thirty years ago.

The group most debilitated by this heightened conflict is the children in separating families.

The majority of today’s separating parents were children of divorce themselves. A Huffington Post blogger on this topic accurately pointed out divorce is inter-generational — a very important piece of information. Since we model our parenting, including our divorce parenting, after our own parents experience, it stands to reason today’s generation is replicating their own parents behavior. As we started this century, we were on the third (at a minimum) generation with no acute skills on how to navigate family reorganization.

via Claire N. Barnes, MA: Divorce Conflict and Kids — A Proposed Remedy.