Mediate Michigan

Catharine Dugan La Belle is my hero. Not because she fed the homeless or climbed Mount Everest, but because she decided to do everything in her power to have a civil divorce. “I wanted to be a positive influence for my two children,” she says. “Even though emotions were raw, I didn’t want to be irrational because of disappointments that the marriage didn’t work out.”

Catherine and her husband Tom had been married for 17 years when they decided they wouldn’t continue as a couple. “You have to put your ego on the side,” she said. “It’s not about being right or wrong. … It was about making decisions without making the other one wrong or angry.”

That kind of mature and level-headed approach is not usually the norm, according to clinical psychologist Dr. Christine Costello of Evanston. “Often when parents start discussing custody and living arrangements, all unresolved issues from the marriage get played out in these discussions,” says Costello. “They forget about the child’s best interest and make it about their hurt feelings. This can be very damaging.”

via Successful co-parenting – chicagotribune.com.