Mediate Michigan

It is Friday afternoon and Ned and Nancy Flaherty are being picked up from school by their mother, Kathleen. They look much like any other family. Nancy, 11, is chatting about swimming and Ned, 13, is complaining about homework. But this is the first time the kids have seen their mum since last weekend.

After their parents split up eight years ago, Ned and Nancy divide their time equally between them. They spend Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights with mum, weekdays are spent a mile away with their dad, Adrian, a 38-year-old teacher. Holidays are split down the middle and everyone gets together for birthdays. They have two homes, two bedrooms, two games consoles and two toothbrushes. Their cats Sooty and Abigail move between houses with them.

Kathleen Saxton, 37, who lives in Kent and runs a headhunting company, says: “When Adrian and I broke up we were determined to make it as easy for the children as possible. It was really important for us to both be involved in their lives, so we focused on putting the children first. It is amazing what emotional pain can be put aside. It’s worked well and the kids love having both of us as a big part of their lives.”

Kathleen and Adrian managed to see through the acrimony and bitterness that can characterise a break-up. Twenty years ago it was unthinkable that following a relationship breakdown, children would live anywhere other than with the mother. Typically, visits from dad would happen twice weekly and there was little room for manoeuvre, but these days residency – it is no longer called custody – is more fluid. Women’s increased economic clout and the recognition of fathers’ rights led to a change in society’s – and the judiciary’s – attitudes.

via The children who have two homes – Features, Health & Families – The Independent.