May 5, 2012

  • How To Divorce: How Do I Decide Whether To Mediate?

    Here’s what you need to know about mediation:

    1. Many divorce cases are suitable for mediation even when there is ongoing conflict; even when trust is damaged from an affair.

    2. Mediation can involve just one mediator and be low-cost, or can involve outside experts such as an accountant, a financial advisor, and consulting attorneys. You decide what you need and what you can afford.

    3. Other than doing your divorce yourself, mediation is often the least expensive and fastest way to get divorced. It is the most “hands-on” and you control the process. Perhaps for this reason, couples rarely have “mediation regret” — even in cases where no agreement was reached.

    So your real task, when considering mediation, is to check for any compelling reason NOT to mediate — the “red flags.” If any of these factors exist in your situation, mediation may not be right for you.

    via How To Divorce: How Do I Decide Whether To Mediate?.

    posted to Divorce,Mediation @ 5:49 pm


  • Surviving Under the Same Roof

    Just ask any matrimonial attorney or therapist. They’ll report that one of the most excruciating casualties of our current financial and real estate downturn has been the emotional toll on families when their hands are tied, and they’re not able to sell their home in a timely manner. Once a couple determines they are no longer able to live together as a family, there is usually a protracted period of adjustment, both emotionally and financially.

    The above arrangement adds an additional layer of confusion and anxiety, which often stands in the way of a comfortable transition. This is especially painful if either or both members of the couple have lasting or ambivalent feelings about ending the relationship. Seeing each other daily may be like picking a scab, repeatedly drawing pain at each encounter. What becomes cruelly hurtful is to be confronted by reminders that the other has moved on in his life. Even if there is an attempt to show sensitivity or discretion, there will be ongoing hurts and humiliations that cannot be avoided.

    So what steps can families take, when they have no choice, but to live separated, together?

    First off, if you can, make sure to get closure. Clarify if there is a possibility of reconciliation or else there may be mixed messages.

    via Linda Lipshutz, MS, ACSW: Surviving Under the Same Roof.

    posted to Divorce,Mediation @ 1:28 pm