March 9, 2010
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Are You Holding Onto Your Spouse with a “Marriage Death Grip?”
Hindsight is always 20/20.
Such is the case for Valerie, a 39 year old woman who told me recently that only now can she admit that she was holding on to her marriage with a death grip. “Not something you do,” she said, “when your marriage is working well. I lived in that state for so long that I had lost perspective.”
Valerie even went so far as to admit how many people had been against her marrying Craig in the first place. “I don’t understand how I could have been so blind! Everyone told me not to marry him, but I thought we had enough of what it took to make a marriage work – I loved him, he loved me and we shared many of the same core values. What more should we have needed?”
The answer to that question lies in understanding what went wrong for Valerie in the marriage. Things were humming along pretty well until they had their son, Benjamin. Then, as if someone cast a spell on Craig, he became all but physically checked out of the marriage and seemed to have no interest in being a dad to Benjamin.
via Are You Holding Onto Your Spouse with a “Marriage Death Grip?” | Psychology Today.
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Strategic defaults on homes on the rise
Jose and Anna Tolentino moved into their Novato condo in August 2005, two days before Jose, a Navy reservist, shipped out to Kuwait.
“I was happy to have my wife in such a nice place while I was away,” he said.
But now, with the condo worth about half the $425,000 they paid, his attitude has changed.
“I don’t want to keep on paying when the house will never go back up to its value,” he said. “It’s better to cut our losses, get out of there and go rent.
“The number of people similarly choosing to cut their losses on their homes continues to rise. Studies estimate about one-quarter of all defaults are voluntary “walkaways,” also known as strategic defaults and jingle mail for the sound the abandoned keys make in a mailbox.
via Strategic defaults on homes on the rise.
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